The Object of My Child's Affection
Every parent's seen it happen; you are trying to get out the door, and your little one is keeping you back by looking for his favorite teddy bear. Or your eight month old will not stop crying because her pacifier has fallen out. As parents you know how constricting a comfort item can be to your way of life. You should keep in mind, though, to your young child the lack of his worn out teddy is what feels debilitating. Comfort objects are exactly what they sound like, and are a healthy and vital part of childhood.
By the time the majority of children reach one year of age, they have already found a security or comfort object that they need right by them all the time. For children younger than one year, the child's own thumb or even a binkie typically work quite nicely to relieve and settle them when they are upset. As your little one becomes a toddler, they could find something a bit more physically comforting like the aforementioned blanket or teddy. Many believe that the soft texture of these toys is the reason for the gentle effect they seem to have on young children. A toddler will most often caress a stuffed animal or rub a blankie on their arm or face to get comfort.
An additional soothing feature a child may find with comfort items is the fact that it reminds them of you. Rubbing the blanket's material on your child's face could remind him or her of your skin when being rocked or embraced by you. Or perhaps the stuffed animal has always been part of their naptime schedule you developed with your child. Once again, the association of you giving comfort to your little one or making her or him feel protected is what causes the strong connection to these items. From time to time a young child will make security objects out of less typical objects. Just about anything from a toy truck to a mitten. While this type of connection isn't always as noticeable, there is more than likley an emotional connection the child has made to draw comfort and security from the item.
However irritating it may be to deal with your child's constant need for their toy or blankie, it is essential to remember that this part of their childhood is both significant and healthy. The world can be a terrifying place to a small child, especially as they advance to their first birthday. It is in these early years that children begin to suffer from separation anxiety because they're more likely to find themselves separated from you via nursery school, a babysitter, or even by their own choice as they are capable of exploring the world around them. With a comfort item, your child is finding a way to comfort himself when you aren't around for them and as they find their independence. Consider it as a temporary brace to get them through this transition in their lives.
It isn't usually until your child reaches age three or four that he or she will start to control their own feelings and emotions and no longer rely on an object of comfort for soothing and security, according to a child-development specialist, Jane Kostelc. It is also around this age that carrying around a battered blankie might seem less socially accepted by their friends and peers. Who knew our children had peer pressure issues so young? At any rate, it's probably best for the parents to observe this phase of your child's development as the milestone that it is. Doing so will likely only promote their emotional developement. Certainly something worth momentary frustration.
